Job interviews have this way of making you think a little bit differently about yourself. After completing as many as I recently have (which in relation to the real world outside of my existence, has not actually been that many) and being rejected for most of them, I’ve fallen into a little bit of a rut. After so much rejection, it can become harder to speak positively about yourself, but the interviewer who I spoke to today (and I do feel that it went very well…but I don’t want to jinx myself prior to the second interview…) kind of reminded me that I am in a good spot. He said that some days, the long hours and hard work of the full season can get to you, which is a feeling that I know well, but you need to step back, look out over the beautiful view that is your life and remember where you are and appreciate how lucky you are to be seeing this beautiful view. I had forgotten that a little bit, in the past few weeks, and fallen into a veritable rut.
Today, though, I had to stop and remind myself of who I am, where I’m at, and what I’m doing.
It is so easy, when faced with more free time than you ever thought existed, to fall into the gaping maw of Netflix, and I had fallen victim. I would wake up, apply for a few more jobs or call a few that I had already applied for, juggle finances, and wash dishes, all with some mindless television show auto-playing in the background. I made an effort to get outside every day and do something cool like surf or talk to somebody new or skydive, but I still blasted through full seasons of shows I never would have otherwise watched and feel sorry for my unemployed self.
That makes me sad. I never wanted to be that person, yet there I was and here I am
After my interview today, I got off my butt and went to the beach.
I swam in the perfectly temperatured water and walked through the perfectly temperatured air on the perfectly soft sand.
I watched the sun set over the Banana River and talked to a lady with dogs and a paddleboard.
I live in stinking Florida, for heck’s sake, and I don’t know how long I will be in this spot. As my 7th grade summer school pre-algebra teacher always said, “if you’re always wanting to be somewhere else, you’ll never be anywhere.”
I have been nowhere for a few weeks.
It is time to be somewhere.
That somewhere is going to be an island in the Carolinas for a weekend, then later Nicaragua, and after that I don’t know, but what this blog post is really about is the in-between. The every day life and the neighbors with dogs who I haven’t met yet. Let this post be both a confession and a promise to you, anonymous readers of the internet and friends and family whom I love dearly. From this moment forward,I will be where I am.